DEAR ABBY: For the past several years, my husband's sister-in-law, "Janine," has used my photographs (with my permission) incalendars she has made as gifts to different family members. Oneyear, I asked her if she would have one made for me since most ofthe photos in it were mine. Her answer: "No, make your own."
Last year, at a cousin's wedding, Janine came up to me and toldme to be sure to take some "good pictures" for HER calendar. I justabout lost it! And for the current year's calendar, she had herhusband ask for 12 more photos.
I feel Janine has been using me to give gifts with her name onthem to other family members. I get none of the credit for havingtaken the pictures. It seems to me that she is stealing. What do youthink?
"Developing" a grudge
Kansas
DEAR "DEVELOPING": I disagree that what your sister-in- law isdoing is stealing, because by giving her the pictures with noconditional stipulation - in this case, being given the credit forhaving taken them - you are enabling her. And I "think" the time hascome for you to insist that your name be on the pictures, or thatshe take her own photos for "her" calendar. Don't you?
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is 43 and I am 48. I admit he moved invery fast - a few weeks after he lost his job.
After three months his mood began to change. He tells me he lovesme and I'm the greatest thing that ever happened to him, but Inoticed he was becoming quiet and withdrawn. I texted him at work toask if something was wrong, and he said "things" were on his mind. Iasked was it me? He said no.
When he came home I asked what was wrong, and he said things werehappening too fast, that he wanted his own place and to move aroundas he wants to. I asked him if he sees me in his future, and hesaid, "Yes. Just bear with me and give me some time."
I need advice, Abby. I am so confused. I love him dearly.
Torn apart
Tomball, Texas
DEAR TORN APART: When a man tells you things have moved tooquickly and he needs time and space, that is what you have to givehim. He may care for you, but unless you give him the chance to missthe comforts you provide him, what you want won't happen. And theharder you try to cling, the more it will drive him away.
DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter is being married for the first time tothe father of her two children. She is planning a large traditionalwedding in which her father will give her away. She wants to includetheir children in the ceremony, too.
Under the circumstances, wouldn't a small wedding (without thelong white dress and associated traditions) be more appropriate? Myopinion has not been requested, nor would I ever provide it, but Iam curious because I believe some of the older relatives in thefamily may be shocked.
Somewhat shocked South Carolina
DEAR SOMEWHAT: Unless the older relatives in the family have beenliving in seclusion, with no magazines, tabloids, television and theInternet, I'm sure they realize that in the last 40 years some ofthe old rules have been retired. Among them: restrictions againstlarge church weddings for longtime cohabitating couples and whitedresses for non-virgin brides. Should any of the old folks showsigns of shock, offer a shoulder for them to lean on. But don't besurprised if none of them is surprised at all.
TO MY JEWISH READERS: Sundown marks the first night of Passover.Happy Passover, everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment