E-views

In the weekly feature called "e-views," we invite readers toanswer a question via email.

Last week's question:

Researchers now say teenagers can be harmed by social media suchas Facebook when they obsess over the online site. Do you allow yourteenager to have a Facebook site? How do you monitor his socialmedia use?

THIS IS AN extremely difficult question. You can't control yourteen to not have access to social media.

I would tell them my rules, which would be to protect them, andthen join the site myself to see what they say. I would try toimpress the seriousness of what could happen if they didn't abide bymy rules. If they break the rules, then the computer is locked. Lookhow big and out- of-control it can get -- such as when a young girlreplaced her friend's picture on a missing girl's MySpace site. Itcompromised anyone who passed on the heart-wrenching story toeveryone on their list. I am glad that my teens have grown up, butnow I have to monitor my grandchildren, just in case! The worse thathas happened so far is they placed some terrible pictures of grannythat they thought were funny!

Peggy Winegardner

Discovery Bay

I NO LONGER have teenagers in our household. They have all grownup and are adults now. But, I do have some grandchildren whom I'd beconcerned about if they were on Facebook. Fortunately, their parentsare on top of things, and I therefore have no worries for them. Iam, however, concerned about others teenagers and hope their parentstake notice of the potential harm of these types of sites.Monitoring of all teenagers' use of the Internet should also be apriority for all parents.

Good luck to them.

Ralph A. Hernandez

Antioch

AS ONE SIZE never fits all, there is no one successful model ofparenting style. In fact, those of us with more than one child knowoh so well that even our own repertoire should vary. That said,though I personally am not generally into bans, I can see the valueof some parents using web filters and TV and online meters. Mysister in New York, though, spared the gadgetry. She miraculouslycut her children's TV usage by simply putting the boob tube in acold basement.

You did, after all, use the word "obsess." Most things,strychnine and adultery come to mind as exceptions, are OK, if donein moderation. Kids need balance, including, yes, date me, chores,time outdoors and periods of pleasure reading. Of course, sittingdown in honest conversation with them is always wise in a worldwhere we now talk to "walls." Discuss, face to face, the issues ofprivacy, peer pressure, immortalizing stupidity and cyberbullying.

Walter Ruehlig

Antioch

This week's question:

Are you afraid to drive on the Highway 4 bypass? If so, do youavoid it?

Email your response to bnews@bayareanewsgroup.com. Please limitresponses to a few sentences, and be sure to include your full nameand city of residence. Not all responses will be published. Note:Please respond before Monday.